Subject: the men's rules


We always hear "the = rules"=20 from the female side. Now here are the rules from

>the male side. These are our rules! = Please=20 note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the = toilet=20 seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. You can handle = it. We need=20 it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving = it down.=20
1. Sunday =3D sports. It's = like the full=20 moon. Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail. =
1. Ask for what you = want. Let us=20 be clear on this one. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! = Obvious=20 hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly = acceptable=20 answers to almost every
question.
1. Come to us with a = problem=20 only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your = girlfriends=20 are for.
1. A headache that = lasts for 17=20 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 = months ago=20 is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and = void after 7=20 days.
1. If you won't dress = like the=20 Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. =
1. If you think you're = fat, you=20 probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we = said can be=20 interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant = the other=20 one.
1. You can either ask = us to do=20 something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know = best how to=20 do it, just do it
yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please = say=20 whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did = not need=20 directions, and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only = 16=20 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. = Pumpkin is=20 also a fruit. We have no idea=20 what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it = will be=20 scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong = and you say=20 "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We = know you are=20 lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a = question you=20 don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. Don't ask us what we're = thinking=20 about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the = shotgun=20 formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough = clothes.=20
1. You have too many = shoes.=20
1. I am in shape. ROUND = is a=20 shape.
1. Thank you for reading = this; Yes, I=20 know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight, but did = you know=20 men really don't mind that, it's like camping.